One fine day...
you’re gonna want me for your glug…
Ordinem Ecentrici Coctores
Oak Legend Doppelbock
9% abv 12 fl. oz.
Hard to beat the Germans at their own game—scratch that; impossible. But it’s rare for an American brauerie to even play in the same ball club. OEC has some highly decent lagers and marzens, but this is probably my favorite offering from the anomalous Connecticut brewers.
For starters, it’s a full-force doppel—I had some Belgian-style Canadian ale calling itself a trippel the other day that had the same alcohol content as Oak Legend—and at 12 ounces, they’ve got the Germans beat by 222/3 ml (trust my drunken math; I got 1420 on the SAT’s, stoned.)
But drinking is a pleasure, not just the prosaic chore of getting drunk: it’s dark but not that dark, more nutty than chocolaty-bittersweet like many doppelbocks, the mash gives a really unique flavor, the hops are subtle and really don’t make this very heavy or spicy in-my-not-so-humble-opinion, although I’ve been known to spike ambrosia w/ forbidden fruit in the Beer Garden of Eden, but this is (perhaps dangerously) drinkable [I won’t say the C-word; I just won’t.]
Buy yourself a four-pack today—better yet, buy me one!
Ayinger Bavarian Pils
5.3% 11.2 fl oz
This has got to be hands-down my favorite Pilsner in the world, and I doubt I will revise that opinion unless I travel directly to the Czech Republic and taste the source. Of course a mediocre Bavarian brewer is superior to most other imported beers anyhow; and Ayinger is the crème de la crème of Bayern Brau. Everything they make is great but this is the go-to most drinkable beer on their menu. I love it! What is it—how to define—it tastes like—Pilsner! That’s all there is to it. I suupose it’s the hops or the way they prepare the malt—whatever it is, it tastes exactly like Urquell—only ten times better! Crisp and refreshing, cooling the head while warming the heart, any time of the year, whether a humid August thunderstorm or a blizzard in February, if you’re home alone with no need to paint the town or get blitzed, this is the one! Celts, Germans, and Slavs have claimed these lands at different times over the millennia, but whatever language you say it in, beer doesn’t get any better.
Raynal de France
Rare Old French Brandy
VSOP
w/ Nellie’s Limited Edition
Free Range Eggnog
It’s the most drunkenful time of the year again, and this whiskey-swillin’ backwoodsman of the concrete jungle seeks to learn a little more culture every year, and to drink like the Good Europeans in Yuletides of Yore. With eggnog at the grocery stores and that old bag of leftover mulling spices still sitting lonely in my pantry, poking its face out at me expectantly every time I search in vain for that jar of coriander we don’t have, it occurred to me: I need some brandy—but I don’t know a thing about this spirit of Christmas past: other than what I’ve gleaned over the past few years from French and Russian novels where the nobility were always drinking it in the 19th century and anytime somebody was ill, tired or had lost a lot of blood it seemed the prescription was—give ‘em a glass of brandy!
So the day before, when I was just going around the corner for some lager to toast The Lizard King’s 79th birthday, I inquired of my hip, knowledgeable local sommelier whether brandy was indeed an appropriate choice for wassailing, and could he recommend a decent one that won’t break the bank? (I also reminded him to reorder that Welsh whiskey, Pendragon I believe [wrong: Penderyn—Ed.]—great stuff but more like &60) and so for $20 I grabbed a bottle the next day, along with the two four-packs of beer praised so highly above, in this article.
Then I picked up a few items at Whole Foods for dinner and got the Nellie’s eggnog, made with their excellent free-range eggs my family has been enjoying, and I have often struggled to order enough to keep on the shelves when running a grocery department myself professionally, for years. But due to everyone’s schedule dinner was a bit later that night, so as I let the chicken soup that I had been cooking all afternoon simmer some more, we preceded dinner with a very tasty dessert!
As in the past I have used whiskey in eggnog and holiday punch, which just adds a little too much spice; bitter, sour flavor which really ought to be savored on its own and is a waste of the liquor at the same time as it spoils the drink (at least if you always add shots from my tall Humphrey Bogart double-shot glass) it was a pleasure to actually enjoy the taste of this quality eggnog, sprinkled with cinnamon, and in fact the sweet, crisp fruity flavor of the brandy only compliments the eggnog and I can’t wait to mull some cider wine or punch and add some Raynal’s, if there’s any left by then.
So, after this fine day and relaxing evening travelling to Eastern Europe with Rick Steves and streaming sitcoms with our teenage son before falling asleep at midnight and actually sleeping in for once—for me: which means it was nearly 8:00AM before the cat’s lying on top of the blanket between my legs made it impossible for me to roll over comfortably and I got up to make coffee and open to I Chronicles for my weekly Sabbatical reading, then the wife and I did some Christmas shopping and by the time we walked home across the highway with all those bags I was sore and tired and needed more coffee but also would’ve stopped for more beer if I hadn’t had my hands full so instead I told my wife, by way of my daily quote from Ghostbusters the movie:
“I could cross the streams…
“There’s definitely a very slim chance I might survive…”
And she vaguely surmised that I was thinking something along these lines; that I would make a large pot of coffee and pour out a large mug with some eggnog, ½+½ and my Bogart double-shot of Raynal’s, sprinkle some cinnamon, stir it with a spoon, write this review and now it’s time for a refill!
[which I finished just as I finished typing it all up and now—3rd time’s the charm?]
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